Bond | Behavior Matters! - Part 2

Tag: Bond

3 tips to increase the Drive to Bond & Belong

The 4-Drive Model of Employee Motivation’s second drive is the drive to Bond & Belong.  The drive is defined by our innate desire to form “close, positive relationships” with people around us.  The image of the lone wolf going it alone or the inventor holed up in his workshop are atypical – most people want to bond with others and feel they belong to a group.  Here are three tips to increase the B Drive: 

Read More

4-Drives: A simple story about how one manager got motivation right!

This was our most viewed slideshare presentation with over 14,000 views – I’ve now turned it into a 4-minute youtube video….with music and everything.  Hope you enjoy and please forward on to anyone you think would benefit from watching.

Are 140 characters a bonding moment?

Are 140 Characters Considered a Bonding Moment?

Have you ever noticed that when you are speaking with your colleagues that much of the conversation revolves around surface level things? Things such as the weather, project updates, weekend plans, and the recipe for the great veggie dip from the potluck lunch.

As improbable as it sounds, it seems like there are often more in-depth conversations going on within social media sites like facebook and Twitter than between colleagues in the workplace. There seems to be a shift in how we interact with each other that is taking place. This new form of conversation can reveal a more authentic side of people. Is it because it is easier to connect with others who you may not know? When I sit down and stare at my Twitter home page I am 140 characters away from connecting with hundreds, if not thousands, of people around the world. This is appealing in many ways for us as we truly enjoy connecting with people. Technology has made connecting with individuals from anywhere in the world very easy to do. The dark side of this is that when we log off Twitter or facebook we can feel like we are missing something. Are we missing an opportunity to bond with someone?

The 4-drive theory shows us that the drive to bond is a fundamental human drive. People can recognize and understand it immediately when it is happening real time. As human beings we have a drive to connect with other people and the depth of those connections will vary based upon your relationships with them. We bond differently with different people, at different points in our lives and for different reasons. The common aspect is the desire to have a positive relationship with other another human being. We do this through sharing stories, exchange ideas, and listening to one another.

The question is this – how does technology impact our drive to bond? Can the drive to bond be satisfied 140 characters at a time? Do we need to have the happy-hour hang out scene after work in order for this drive to be filled, or can we bond effectively without ever meeting a person face-to-face? Is technology becoming just another avenue for us to bond or is it shifting the very nature of the bonding experience?

Based upon our limited experience, we feel that technology is shifting the very nature of our interactions. The ability to share thoughts and ideas with the world, changes how we communicate. That change can also impact how we connect with others. It provides opportunities for greater sharing and more revealing conversations. For many people, it is easier to tweet about a thought or idea than it would be to share that thought or idea coworkers. On this level, it can foster greater bonds. However, we’ve also realized that there is power to having face-to-face sharing. When Susan attended Blogwell, she met many tweeters on the bus and at the conference and because of the human aspect of meeting them in person, she was able to bond faster and with more trust. The real potential, as we see it, is in being able to meld these two forms and garner both the emotional aspects of face-to-face bonding with the deeper insight and discussion that often comes with the help of the electronic word.

We would welcome your thoughts and comments?

Lessons from the Good Old Days…I Double Dog Dare You

Double Dog Dare

My first management experience was back in college and back then email was not the main communication tool you used with your team and cell phones were only used in the movies.  As an Assistant Director of the Residence Halls, I managed a small team of Resident Advisors.  It was old school communication; you met with your team in person and set expectations, reviewed the policies and procedures of the hall, asked questions, and even enjoyed moments of pure fun without the distracting email or texting clickety clack noise in the background.  

Technology has helped communicating with teams in many ways, especially when many teams have virtual or remote locations. But some days I long for the good old days when communication took place first and foremost in person and without cell phones, emails, or texting capabilities.

I miss…

  1. The Unspoken Language:  I miss the non-verbal cues that are present in an in person meeting. Something is missed when a team meets on a conference call. You can hear the voice inflections but you can’t see if they are rolling their eyes, read their facial and body language, or even know if they are actually paying attention during the call.
  2.  Free Flow Conversation:  Meeting with a team in person can be beneficial not only for getting things done but for also connecting and bonding with your team. The one off conversations before and after a meeting seem to flow easier than if the meeting was on Skype or a web conference. Technology burps happen, those unexpected hang ups, disconnects, or heaven forbid user error events disrupt the flow of a meeting and it takes people 10 minutes or more to get back on track and refocused.
  3. Cloud Distractions: Before the days of cell phones, email, and texting the biggest distraction during an in person meeting might have been the big puffy clouds floating outside.  And if you were in a brainstorming meeting those big puffy clouds could have inspired the next breakthrough product idea. Today it seems as if we are in a constant holding pattern, like trained dogs that come when their owner whistles we hear the incoming email or text noise and our immediate reaction is to look. Despite our greatest efforts not to look we still do!  The number and magnitude of distractions have increased along with the expansion of technology.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy utilizing technology and harnessing the amazing benefits that it has to offer but I also like to harness the amazing power of bonding with a team in person.  Managing and inspiring a team is more of an art than a science.  The next time you schedule a conference call and you are all in the same building why not meet in person, I double dog dare you!

S. Stone


Page 2 of 2

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén

Behavior Matters!